Ever since we moved operations to this blog we’ve been getting tons and tons of email. There are so many that we can’t answer them all. So this week we’ve selected a few to answer right here in the column. Let’s get started!

My name is Eric. I’m writing about my friend Alexi. Several years ago Alexi and me went to France to play soccer. Our coach was mean and didn’t let Alexi play. After we lost all our games Alexi told our coach he was a doodyhead. Everyone was proud of Alexi because he was brave enough to be honest and say what all of us thought. But today I think Alexi is hanging out with the wrong crowd and has gotten in the habit of lying. He’ll say one thing one day, and then do the complete opposite thing the next. Honestly, I think he’s the one acting like a doodyhead now and I have trouble believing anything he says. Anyway, I decided to spout off about it Frank Giase at the New Jersey Star Ledger. Do you think that was the right thing to do?

There may have been more grown-up ways of handling things, but as long as you got your Mom’s permission to speak to Mr. Giase then the AAXI has no particular objection.

I am Mr. Larry Tanenbaum from Canada and I am the owner of Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment. I have decided to seek a confidential cooperation with you in the execution of a deal described here for the benefit of all parties and I hope you keep it as a top secret because of the nature of this transaction. We have in our possession $10 million franchise fee which we want to transfer New York City with the assistance and cooperation of a foreign individual. I have the authority of my partners involved to propose that, should you be willing to assist us in the transaction, you will be compensated with a six-pack of Moosehead Lager. Please remember to treat this matter confidentially. I wait in anticipation for your full cooperation.

For the last time, we’re not going to fall for this crazy “Canadian Franchise Fee” scheme!

I need some professional advice. See, I’ve got a problem with my new boss. Problem is some years ago I was his boss, and – well – let’s just say we had a bit of a falling out back then. He called me a “doodyhead.” In fact, he was quite vocal about it. As fate would have it I now find myself working for him. I’ll be honest. I’ve been doing a pretty bad job at managing things here, and given the history between me and my new boss I fully expect to be fired. I figured with your vast expertise you might be able to give me some professional advice. What should I do?

- Steve from Los Angeles

Have you sent any resumes to Utah? We suspect there’ll be some job openings there soon.

Are you feeling limp? Is your performance not what it used to be? Finally, there’s help. Enhancement patches are hot right now, VERY HOT! Unfortunately, most are cheap imitations that do very little to increase your prowess or stamina. Well, this is the real thing, not an imitation! A top team of scientists and medical doctors have worked to develop this state of art performance enhancement patch delivery system. Just apply the patch to your body, wear it for three days and you’ll start noticing dramatic results. Don’t be left out. Soon you too can be scoring again!

Thank you for the interesting offer. None of us at the AAXI are having any difficulties in this area but we have taken the liberty of forwarding your email to the New England Revolution.

You people are a little obsessive. It’s like you have to mention me in every single column. Honestly, I find it frightening.

- Justin from Chicago

We have no idea what you’re talking about.

That’s all the letters for this week, but if you want to write to us just send an email to aaeleven@gmail.com. Who knows, maybe your letter will be featured in a future AAXI column!

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This week a 3-5-2 old school:

Troy Perkins - (2)

Perkins had a great game, made some very good saves, and positioned himself well. Strong in the air, willing to put his body on the line, and let everyone know the box is his (as evidenced by Mike Magee’s dislocated pinky finger which was just a wee bit gnarly).

The truth of the matter is, RBNY wasn’t as utterly toothless as everyone says. They put in some dangerous stuff, particularly in the first half. And every single time they did Perkins came up handily. Did he get the clean sheet? No, but he should have. It’s a shame he wasn’t able to keep the shutout streak alive through three games. He was very close but once Brian Namoff got subbed in, we had a bad feeling.

Eddie Pope - (2)

Right now His Holiness is playing at his can-stop-any-forward-in-the-league level. Poor Eddie Pope. In the past he played with guys like Carlos Llamosa, Jeff Agoos, and Tony Sanneh. Against Houston, he was trying to hold off Brian Ching and DeRosario while also covering for the midfield all night. Pope did everything he could to keep the defense together - but even Pope couldn’t do everything.

You would think with five so-called midfielders in front of him he wouldn’t have had to come up with some of the plays he did that night. Apparently not. RSL is still a painfully inept team but at least they have Pope for a game or two more.

Nick of Arc - (1)

Garcia was shutting down Dallas and … wait … was that a shot? God must have wanted us to see that for some reason. Speaking of that shot sighting, do people realize the historical significance of Nick Garcia going forward and shooting? And staying forward?????? This guy owns the all-time non-goal scoring record in MLS!!!! For him to even shoot was HUGE!!!! A sure sign that he’s ready to lead MLS to the promised land of unpredictability and sure shot taking.

Okay, beyond that he was a rock on defense. Rob Stone and Marcelo Balboa were correct in singling Garcia out for praise. Kenny Cooper didn’t get too many good looks in the run of play and neither did Carlos Ruiz. Nick and Jimmy Conrad in tandem were a big reason why, but in addition Garcia also got out of a few hectic moments rather smoothly when he got islanded. Those are always scary moments no matter who the opposition is but he handled them well. Just ask Chris Gbandi how tough that can be

Brandon Prideaux - (1)

Sometimes it’s hard to notice how well a defender is playing until he’s not there. Today, Prideaux was subbed out and within a couple of minutes his replacement gets turned by Youri for a goal. Prideaux simply could not be beaten, playing the best of the DCU defenders, often backing them up when they let someone by them. After a rough week #1, he’s putting together a portfolio to justify regular starting time even when Peter Nowak doesn’t use a four man back line.

Brian Carroll - (1)

Youri who? Amado who? You get the picture. This guy was unbelievable. Sometimes we prefer watching games on TV to being there live, while other times we wish we could see the entirety of an individual’s game just to get a better sense of what he did. That’s how we view Carroll’s match. He popped up at the right time, in the right place so often that his off the ball work must have been amazing.

There’s a reason why opposing teams can’t drive down the middle of DCU’s defense and Carroll is the prime reason. But what was unexpected this week was his offense. First he sent that pinpoint pass to Olsen (see below), and then he stole a pass, rolled over Marvell Wynne and dropped a sweet dime on Jamil Walker. The rest of the day his passing was the best on the field.

Jacob Thomas - (2)

Big, fast, physical, dominates his side. Possesses and uses his strength and understanding of a more physical style of play, honed in the lower divisions of the German Bundesliga, to help throw the Galaxy off and create problems.

Those LAG outside backs are supposed to be on the fringe of the USNT for this World Cup. Guess it’s a good thing Thomas doesn’t play for Ghana, Italy, or the Czech Republic - he ate the Galaxy defenders alive! Unlike other, anonymous MLS outside mids, he also exhibited a variety of moves when it came time to get the cross in or head for the box himself.

Unfortunately for him and the Crew, it looks like he’s injured his ankle pretty badly when backtracking against Donovan and he could be out for a lengthy period of time.

Aaron Pitchkolan - (1)

What can we say? We’re a sucker for stoppage time tie-breaking goals. (That and bicycle kicks, but that’s probably because we’ve never been able to master them.) This is the kind of stuff that makes soccer exciting. The man came in late in the game and did the job. He set the ball up nicely and finished it well.

What a typical American goal. We all remember back in rec league in high school when we had a friend that used to score goals like that all the time. He wasn’t the fastest, and he didn’t have the skills, but he always hustled and always saw the play through. Pitchkolan’s typical American style got Dallas three.

Brad Davis - (1)

Just when it seemed no one could challenge the porn star moustaches sported by Scott Garlick and Kenny Cutler, along comes Davis with his offering in the same game! NASL games in SoCal in the 1970’s had fewer bad moustaches than this game!

Davis played a complete 90 minute game. He caused problems for RSL with his dribbling and passing, but was also committed on defense as well. He and Wade Barrett made sure that Chris Klein had a relatively quiet game, especially in the first half. Then, Davis assisted on the game tying goal with a great corner kick. Solid all around.

Benny Olsen - (1)

Another strong performance here. He tandems so well with Carroll and like Carroll today he added offense to his contributions. Above we have Nick Garcia who tandems so well with another defender who could have gotten a nod this week in Jimmy Conrad. With Olsen, it’s the same thing with Carroll. As a tandem they shut out the middle of the field from opposing teams, like Red Bull this week. And like Carroll this week, Benny got into the attack frequently culminating with a nice assist to Alecko.

Kenny Cooper - (3)

His goal was the result of never giving up on the ball. Ronnie O’Brien sends in a cross to the back post and Cooper gets taken down but during the course of the ball pinballing around in front of the goal, Cooper gets back up and heads in the rebound.

For the rest of the mostly painful-to-watch game, he was the only Dallas player that seemed willing to go after the defense and take people on 1v1. Was very close on a well taken shot at the top of the penalty box, doing a couple of step-overs before breaking out for a foot or two of space and putting the ball just over the cross bar.

Alecko - (2)

We’ll pretend he’s Brazilian for a second and just use one name for him. He’s on this list for three reasons: Sweet finishes, works hard in the midfield, creative goal celebration, annoyed Eric Wynalda. That’s like the MLS Cycle right there.

His second goal developed from brilliant tight-spaced, crisp, one-touch passing between Carroll, Olsen, and Alecko that led to him breaking out ahead into a 1v1 situation with Tony Meola and then doing what forwards are supposed to do: finish.

Alecko owns his hometown team and we’re not just talking goal scoring here. Did everyone see that celebration after his first goal? Gonna be hard to beat that celebration this year or any year. You just know that Clint Dempsey is wishing he thought of that one first.

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• Header by The Belly.
• List compiled and edited by ursula with input from all the AAXI contributors.
• All typos and errors should be blamed on Mark De Grandpre.

We now take you to today’s nationally televised MLS new conference …

Don Garber: Thank you for attending. First off I am pleased to have with me on the podium to my left Bruce Arena, Dave Sarachan, Steve Nicol, Sigi Schmid, Steve Sampson, Bob Bradley, Mo Johnston, John Ellinger, and Bob Gansler to help take your questions and, in general, agree with everything I say.

First off a couple of announcements: This MLS season is dedicated to showing the world that our league is on par with any league out there. To prove this we are taking the following steps:

• We are not only continuing our league during the World Cup, we are buying airtime for our games in every country showing that inferior competition. Thus we will show our product is clearly superior. A surprised Bruce Arena is seen with his mouth wide open but his expressions soon changes from astonishment to contentment when a fly enters his mouth and he swallows it. Sigi notices and opens his mouth too.

• We are instructing our officials, EVERY ONE OF WHOM IS BETTER THAN PETER “FREAKIN’ HAND GROWING OUT OF BERHALTER’S FACE” PENDERGAST!, to be extra careful NOT to reward diving. Dave Sarachan: ***cough Keimara cough*** Sigi slowly gets up, moves two seats to his right and sits down. The audience hears a muffled scream and Garber looks to his left then back to the audience.

• Before I go on, there is breaking news. Dave Sarachan has resigned from the Chicago Fire for personal reasons and Sigi Schmid has replaced him. The Columbus Crew are now in the process of hiring a new head coach. From the back of the room come shouts of “Me me! Coming from a man who looks much like the coach of George Mason University. A security guard looking much like Adam Baldwin from the movie Serenity but with the name tag, “Hello! I am Bill Archer!” tosses the man out the door.

• As I was saying, we are set to make MLS the most legitimate league in the world. For the final step in this process we are instituting a new single table format and in that format teams will be given points for keeping the score down. So here are the new standings as of today:

1. New England Revolution - Steve Nicol has done a fine job stifling what little creativity remained after last years’ Cup final. One goal scored for every three matches is the ideal for which we want all our coaches to strive. Nicol gets pats on the back from Sampson and Schmid. Gansler looks bewildered. Arena glares at Garber. Something needs to be done about that Dempsey character though. Fortunately he’s leaving soon for that lesser summer league in Germany.

2. Real Salt Lake - Is there any doubt about who’s now the REAL team in the world? Probably their only weakness is this upstart Jason Kreis. Kreis we understand is being removed from the team and will now be on Bruce Arena’s World Cup team. Arena gags.

3. We have a three-way tie for third between the LA Galaxy, Columbus Crew, and New York Red Bulls. Technically the Crew are alone in third on goal differential and since they are doing so well, team management has decided to install Rusty Pierce as player coach. Gun shots from the rear of the room tattoo the wall over Garber’s head. Garber again: Since Steve Sampson is here, I’d like to congratulate Steve on a good job with his offense - with the exception of Landon Donovan. Look Steve, we aren’t paying that player that amount of jack to produce goals. From now on he’s strictly a reserve league player. Arena bangs his head on the table. Also LA now has the services of the best GM in the business, Alexi Lalas, fresh from his great job with RBNY. Alexi says he looks forward to doing the same bang-up job that he did in NY. Sampson starts banging his head on the table in time with Arena.

6. In a tie for sixth place we have Chivas USA and the Chicago Fire. The Fire aren’t doing too well so far but with given how their new head coach turned things around in Columbus I am sure the Fire will turn things around with a nice control possession oriented approach. Hand grenades are lobbed from the back of the room just missing Garber. As I understand it, Mr. Schmid has already made his first personnel move, selling Chris Rolfe to the Western Massachusetts Pioneers for a used hole in the ground and thirty-two copies of, “The Nigeria Guide of Coaching Stability.” Sigi has since traded the guides to NYRB for absolutely nothing, i.e. Amado Guevara. Chivas under Bob Bradley is languishing in last place due to some inept play by their attack. A quizzical look crosses Bob Gansler’s face. League management has taken it upon itself to remedy this by placing Ante Razov on Bruce Arena’s World Cup developmental team. Arena slaps Garber into next Sunday. Eventually Don gets up.

Oh yes. The final news is that the league has had to undergo an emergency contraction, letting go of the teams in Houston, Kansas City, and DC. Their goal scoring alone indicated their management’s complete lack of understanding of the league’s goals and proved it would be best if they completely disappeared. Their management and players have been sold to organizations in Guam, American Samoa, and Africa respectively.

Thank you for attending this press conference.
…
A shake it if you’ve got it 4-4-2.

Troy Perkins – (1)

The third year goalkeeper beat out veterans Tony Meola and Matt Reis by a single vote to earn a spot in this week’s AAXI. Last weekend the young keeper, who seems to gain more confidence with every game, earned his second clean sheet in a row. He was pulling Air Patrol duty all night, hauling in anything that floated into his box. And if he didn’t haul it in then he punched it out with authority. He had real command over his box. He positioned himself well, notably on a Ronald Cerritos header late in the second half and completely took Ching out of the game by denying him any air service. He also distributed the ball very well and demonstrated and ability to pick people out from long range and boot the ball right to them in an attacking position. His 50/50 balls into the opponents half always seemed to find DC players. It was real stand out performance.

Tim Regan – (1)

Yes, we know. He couldn’t stop Landon Donovan in the end. But until then he stopped everything else Los Angeles threw his way. Watching him track down Cornell Glenn after he got in behind the defense was phenomenal. Without him in the middle, who knows how many goals Glen would have had for the Galaxy. Who knew the kid had so much speed? He owned the penalty box and made it patently impossible for Glen or Donovan to get any footing or angles or service. Regan’s wonderful performance almost single-handedly put Chivas in a position to win this game. Regan is playing at a very high level and if he keeps this up he’ll be a serious player in the post Germany national team mix.

Rusty Pierce – (1)

Whatever happened to that chippy, scrappy, uneven defender at New England? We’re used to seeing Rusty play like Joey Franchino without the left foot. But Saturday he was excellent, and stood out in a lackluster match. He appeared a calm, assured, mature defender who led his defense and didn’t make any false moves whatsoever. And there was nary a hack to be seen. Most amazingly he put in this fine performance while going up against the indomitable Justin Mapp. Given how bad Pierce was in week one it was perhaps surprising to see Rusty freeze Mapp out of the game so effortlessly, particularly in the first half. Pierce was strong and dependable on a Crew team that needed their nerves steadied.

Jonathan Bornstein – (1)

The rookie’s performance against the Galaxy didn’t draw nearly as many superlatives as the one put in by his defensive team mate Tim Regan, but the converted forward from UCLA put in an excellent performance nonetheless. He was everywhere, shutting down the Galaxy’s midfield, helping out in back, and making long, forceful runs through the Galaxy defense. His game is very aggressive and yet quite clean. He’s quick to transition to the offense, in part because he looks up and uses his vision. The youngster is one to watch.

Jimmy Conrad – (1)

Conrad would have a spot on this team even if he didn’t score the game-winning goal. He marked Taylor Twellman out of the match (and maybe out of the World Cup squad because if one of the US’s bubble defenders can shut down Twellman like that, it doesn’t bode well for striker’s chances in Germany). Twellman was probably checking the seat behind him on the bus out of Arrowhead to make sure Conrad wasn’t there. A superb performance following a remarkable comeback from hernia surgery.

The Prophet – (1)

If Landon Donovan is on your team, you love him. If he isn’t, you hate him. Last weekend’s game against Chivas USA showed why. It was a microcosm of the Galaxy’s season last year: barely hold on and disappoint for 90% of the time then come on strong in the final moments to win. It’s like the Galaxy use that Fast Trac machine at Disney World where instead of waiting hours in line you just come and get a time stamped ticket then return an hour later and go to the front of the line. If the Galaxy go anywhere it’s because Donovan takes them there. No other player in the league has the total package that Donovan showed at the end of the game: dribbling, speed, vision, touch, guts. Chivas USA was reminded of that fact the hard way.

The Messiah – (1)

This was the kind of show we always wanted to see from Freddy Adu: entertaining flash coupled with professional consistency. It was the most impressive game Freddy’s played as a pro in quite some time. He remained active and focused throughout the game, complimented Gomez and Moreno perfectly and constantly kept Houston on its heels with his runs and dribbling. He even helped stifle Houston’s attack by playing some defense. Good thing he didn’t score or people all over the country would be demanding Bruce take him to Germany.

Clint Dempsey – (2)

On a night when the Revs struggled for offense, Clint’s ability to take on defenders was the lone bright spot. He didn’t score, but the only truly dangerous opportunities came when he had the ball at his feet. As the commentators pointed out, he’s now using his tricks with a purpose in mind, not just for the sake of doing tricks. Without Dempsey, the Revs would have looked absolutely punchless. Whenever he has the ball you get the feeling something remarkable can always happen.

Chris Klein – (1)

The veteran finally had the 90 minutes we’ve been waiting for him to have! Klein was arguably the most dangerous and tireless RSL player out there. He delivered some beautiful crosses and corner kicks that really should have been put away. And he forced Meola’s best save of the first half on a brilliant first-time shot from long distance. In the end he was largely responsible for the game tying goal. First, the veteran tricked Mendes into a harmless foul in the 88th minute to earn the free kick, and then he placed that kick right on Jason Kreis’s head for a gorgeous assist and goal.

Jason Kreis – (1)

Jason Kreis showed, yet again, why he’s the consummate MLS professional. Salt Lake had been knocking on New York’s final third all night, but it wasn’t until Kreis entered that they spent any significant time there. With his energy and pressure, he completely changed the complexion of the match and made the game tying goal possible. The equalizing goal itself was beautiful and clinical, but almost equally impressive was the fact that he wasn’t afraid to get in and make challenges with his surgically-repaired knee on the Turf Monster. Kreis never became a national team mainstay, but it’s hard to find another player who’s given more to Major League Soccer.

Chris Rolfe – (2)

The word “tenacious” just doesn’t do him justice. This kid creates and finishes virtually everything with an exclamation point. If you’re a defender and you take your eye off him for one second, he’s past you. He scores key goals and makes those around him better. Rolfe troubled the Crew’s defense all game and almost won it for his team late. He was unfortunate not to get his first goal of the match in the opening half when he took the ball on a Chad Marshall give-away at the top of the box, and slipped it just under John Busch but off the post. Rolfe finally got the scoring started in the second half when he received a nice through ball from Chad Barrett and placed his low shot through Busch’s legs into the back of the net. Finally, late in the game, Rolfe received the ball with a defender on his back, looped it over both their heads while spinning off his mark, received the ball again on his chest and cracked it off the bounce forcing a spectacular save from Crew goalkeeper. Rolfe remains one to watch and he should be a national team fixture come 2010.
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• Header by ursula.
• List compiled and edited by The Belly with input from all the AAXI contributors.
• All typos and errors should be blamed on Giorgio Chinaglia.

After a thrilling Week 1 of the MLS season, Week 2 followed up by … reminding us why this league is occasionally a hard sell, even to “America’s Soccer Channel.” However, the fan frenzy of the weekend occurred at the Meadowlands, where 35,000 turned out for a celebration of professional soccer in New York, headlined by the legendary Mark Semioli. I heard Pele showed up, too, and tried to hustle everyone at that inexplicable Sierra Mist juggling game he “lost” to Freddy Adu. Can’t blame a guy for trying.

But the excitement of the first-ever Red Bulls home game didn’t go unnoticed by the league powers that be. Apparently, New York fans were deeply moved by disposing of one soulless, corporate team name and the adoption of a new soulless, corporate team name. The great draw inspired a secret, all-day meeting at MLS headquarters, at which league executives came up with ideas for other food and drink related team names to add some “zazz” (technical marketing term) to the 2006 season and beyond. (Note: These are the kind of ideas that Doug Hamilton used to shoot down. Read on and you’ll see how much we’ll miss him.)

Kansas City Cheez Wiz - A gentle nod to team history, albeit slightly less urine-referential. The undefeated Cheez Wiz are true to their new name - great results, but you really don’t want to know how it happened. Between the mystifyingly effective play of Zavagnin, and Burciaga scoring a game winner AND getting a red card, the Cheez Wiz is looking down from the top of the table.

Absolut Columbus - A vodka martini tie-in, shaken, not stirred, for the club on its way to 0-0-7 (W-T-L format). Note to Eddie Gaven: You’ll need a serious haircut before being allowed to play bond yourself. Where is the Fire Sigi bandwagon parked? I’d like to get on in about three weeks unless the Crew pick it up.

New England Guiness - The official beer of brawling Irish brothers is perfect for the traveling Joey and Deuce show. Inside sources inform us that during an intense halftime “rap-off” between Franchino and Dempsey, Joey moderately injured his hamstring attempting imitate a nifty Dempsey “Don’t Tread On Me” move. As a result, the Revs were forced to sub in Kyle Brown, lost control of the midfield, and nearly blew the game to an inferior Red Bulls team. Chalk another one up for team unity.

DC Juicy Juice - Until Freddy turns 21, no alcohol tie-ins for DC. So we’ll go with the most juvenile drink we can think of. But they have played three straight pretty good halves. So sip up, boys! You’ve earned it.

Tostitos Houston - Although for sheer shock value of simultaneously pandering to and offending your target audience, it’s tough to beat “Houston 1836,” league executives have tried to one-up themselves. Also, extensive league research has indicated that 99% of fans either a) don’t know what a Dynamo is, b) do know what it is and think that makes it a stupid name, or c) are wondering why that Hawaiian guy who played for San Jose and spent his off season playing himself off of the national team is suddenly in Houston, and the incredibly-premature leader in the race for MVP.

FC Boddington’s Dallas - The great city of Manchester lost two icons this year. The Boddington’s brewery closed, and United reserve superstriker Kenny Cooper left town. To honor his stellar early season form, and to help him fondly remember his home-away-from-home, FC re-re-names itself Boddington’s.

Chicago Justin Mapps - give the people what they REALLY, REALLY want.

Salt Lake Communion Wafers - We’ll see a true test of faith. Can a stadium full of Mormons put their trust in the Pope? So far this year, it looks like their only hope.

Colorado Doritos - Commander Clint can’t make the field yet, but all those years of boozing and posing while scarfing down Doritos make this endorsement a natural. And it gives Colorado fans something to cheer about while their team amasses all the once-potential-Nat-superstars-but-ultimately-disappointing players it can find. I hear Kyle Martino might be available, guys. Are Steve Snow and Mike Slivinski still retired?

Heineken Chivas - The import from Holland will make everything better. At least, that’s what Chivas is hoping.

Los Angeles Orange Slices - Landon Donovan, after tying the Fire this week: “I honestly feel like I’m on a high school team sometimes.” Well, LandyCakes, then you get to bring the orange slices. Don’t forget to bring enough for everyone on the team.
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A Defensive 4-4-2 (Last week’s 2-4-4 was sexy football. Evidently this week everyone’s all sexed out.)

Bo Oshoniyi– (1) – Kansas City Wizards
In a week with a number of solid goalkeeping performance the largely unheralded Oshoniyi edged out a crowd of goalkeepers to get the AAXI nod. The goalkeeper from Poughkeepsie had Houston in his end most of the night. Nobody could have stopped the set-play goal he conceded, but he kept his defense organized and stopped everything that was shot at him in the run of play.

Jim Curtin – (1) – Chicago Fire
Every single time the Galaxy managed to get their act together and attack, Curtin was there to stop them. He was everywhere. It was a massive performance, a truly dominating defensive outing. He was always in the right place because he seemed to be everywhere. Tackle after tackle, clearance after clearance: he was equal to everything that LA threw at him. He would have gotten the AAXI nod for his superb defensive performance alone, but it certainly didn’t hurt his chances when he notched the tying goal.

Eddie Pope – (1) – Real Salt Lake
High in the Wasatch Mountains Eddie Pope maintains a secret lab where he steals the life essence of other players (think crappy Doctor Who set). He laughs as he straps Mark Lisi into a chair, slowly siphoning off his talent to prolong his own career. So it would seem, anyway. We thought Pope was down, we thought Pope was out. But now we’re seriously wondering what he did to rejuvenate his career. This last weekend he had the kind of game that explains where the nickname “Steady Eddie” comes from. His positioning was masterful all game long, and if you paid close attention, just seeing him mark his man out of the game was good fun. He almost scored towards the end of the match while playing center forward as RSL pressed the attack.

Chris Albright – (1) – Los Angeles Galaxy
Some time before Chris Albright saw the light and started playing right back he was suiting up for DC United often just to look dapper on the bench and occasionally to play forward. It was then that we realized his unusual talent: When you need a post hit, he’s your man. This last weekend Albright led the Galaxy with two shots on goal (note to the Galaxy: if Albright leads your team in shots on goal, even for just one game, you’re in trouble). The first one he hit off the crossbar, a Chris Albright classic. The second went in. The goal aside, Albright played solid defense and dangerous offense on the wing all game long. He did a fine job containing Chicago’s attack down the left flank and made several nice runs that led to scoring chances.

Man Child – (1) – New York Red Bulls
Marvell Wynne showed his potential during his team’s game against New England. Wynne compensated for some positioning problems with speed and quick feet. Stripping Noonan and Dempsey on separate occasions, leading a one-man attack that led to a dangerous free kick, and generally being a nuisance was impressive. He’s living proof that no matter how tactically sophisticated you are at a lower level, the next level always has something new to throw at you. In MLS, his physical gifts are preventing some tactical shortcomings from being exposed. But if he’s a fast learner … look out. He’ll be capped within a year.

Justin Mapp – (1) – Chicago Fire
It really is amazing what Mappinho can do with the ball at his feet. Well, foot. See, he can’t use his right foot for much but running and standing. But it doesn’t matter. One footed as he is, he’ll still beat you most of the time. Mapp had an outstanding offensive performance against Los Angeles. He played superb attacking soccer, owned the left side and made several dangerous and energetic diagonal runs. It was a complete 90 minute performance. He even played some defense. If Mapp hadn’t been on the field Chicago would have looked far, far less dynamic. And they wouldn’t have drawn the foul that led to their tying goal.

Kerry Zavagnin – (1) – Kansas City Wizards
Zavagnin’s efforts in midfield helped keep Houston grasping for new attacking ideas. While he couldn’t help the Wizards maintain much possession, his defensive work rate frustrated Houston’s efforts to find effective solutions, and restricted Houston’s attack mostly to long balls for Ching. Zavagnin also hassled Houston’s midfielders and forced them to resort to square and back passes more often than they wanted.

Chris Henderson – (1) – New York Red Bull
It’s taken many years, but we at the AAXI finally believe Chris Henderson is emerging from his younger brother’s shadow. His brother, Sean, suited up alongside his older brother for a few years in Colorado before heading out to greener pastures in Seattle. But Chris stuck it out, bounced from team to team, found one of his teams bounced from the league, and then fell victim to Sigizing in Columbus. Now he’s plying his trade in New York and doing what he’s always did. Last weekend Old Man Hendo did a tireless job on the left wing, flying up and down the field to make an impact at both ends. He made a number of intelligent diagonal runs to generate scoring opportunities, including a one-on-one with Matt Reis that the Rev keeper did well to keep out of the net.

Jacob Thomas – (1) – Columbus Crew
This newcomer to Major League Soccer was arguably the best Crew midfielder on the field Saturday night. Dribbling right at defenders he constantly caused Colorado problems with his speed. He should have scored one, if not two, goals in the first half and called it a night. The second half you could tell the “Mile-High” air got to him, but until then he was impressive. It looks like the right side (with Hejduk) is in good hands with the Crew.

Kenny Cooper – (2) – FC Dallas
Admit it. You didn’t think he’d amount to much. But after his play the last two weeks it looks like a good number of us should start eating crow. The kid can play. His defending may be a bit suspect, but his attack is downright scary. Colin Clarke is playing him out wide on the right, but he doesn’t look out of place there. Last weekend he was very energetic on the wing, demonstrated a knack for getting into good positions, and showed that he can dribble far better than most any other “big man” in the league. He hasn’t been here long, but he’s already cemented his place as a fixture in the Dallas offense.

Brian Ching – (2) – Houston Dynamo
The Hawaiian native again excelled this week, despite facing a stronger defensive team. Houston relied heavily, and somewhat predictably, on air mail to Ching. He still consistently beat his defender to knock down almost every contested air ball. Long, hopeful efforts launched from deep in the back, clever lobs from midfield that required quicker reactions, he won them all. In addition to the goal Ching also struck the frame and got himself into position for a couple of crosses. Just another typically strong week in the life of Brian.

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• Header by Casper.
• List compiled and edited by The Belly with input from all the AAXI contributors.
• All typos and errors should be blamed on John Guppy.

The triumphant return of the All-American XI in this, the 11^th season of Major League Soccer, shall be known as the Golazo! Golazo! Golazo! edition.

Something just isn’t right. Opening weekends in MLS aren’t supposed to be that entertaining. They aren’t supposed to see 24 goals scored. And they sure as hell aren’t supposed to see Brian Ching put up a four-spot. Will those of you who thought Brian Ching was capable of scoring four goals in a game, raise your hand. Now repeat after me, “I am full of crap.”

An entertaining weekend it was, but let’s be honest, we were all itching for MLS action after the long winter hibernation. Sure watching games between some of the best clubs in the world on Fox Soccer Channel and GolTV is entertaining, but for some of us it doesn’t get better than the home grown talent and excitement of MLS.

• You just can’t beat watching Chris Rolfe juke the entire Dallas backline out of their hoops and clinically finish another chance in the second half.
• Regardless of your club allegiances, you were just a little bit excited watching Manchester United product Kenny Cooper give us a taste of what’s to come.
• Nothing compares to watching Alecko Eskandarian return to form and bring DC charging back after halftime.
• How thrilling was it watching Eddie Johnson actually leaving a vapor trail behind him to net his first goal in a KC shirt?
• And it doesn’t get better than watching Clint Dempsey do what Clint Dempsey does.

MLS is back with a vengeance, and with the World Cup coming this summer there are a lot of eyes on the Americans. Can they repeat a classic American underdog performance from 2002? Can they prove to the world that they can hang with the best in the Group of Really Painful Paper Cuts? Will some of the very names you’ll see here week in and week out till mid-May showcase their talent on the world’s biggest stage?

We will see.

Come June when the world’s attention is on the World Cup and people are living and dying with their national teams, some of us here in the US will also be living and dying with our clubs each week, and that is exactly what we’ve been waiting for over the last five months.

For God’s sake, put your hands back down.
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An Attacking 2-4-4 (What do expect in a week that averaged four goals per game?)

Matt Reis - (1) - New England Revolution
This week the strikers were hot and keepers were struggling but Reis did enough to earn a clean sheet. His positioning was excellent on Donovan’s corners, and while he had some difficulty with rebounds he did exactly what he had to do to secure three points for the Revolution.

Matt Groenwald - (1) - Kansas City Wizards
The converted midfielder from Prospect, Illinois is the AAXI’s leading prospect for rookie of the year. He is also, as of yet, the only prospect for this illustrious award. The new Kansas City right back absolutely dominated his side of the field both offensively and defensively. Offensively he had the cross and assist to Arnaud while defensively he marked Kyle Martino out of the game. When Martino was subbed out and the Crew’s promising rookie forward Kei Kamara moved to left wing, he disappeared as well. Groenwald has it all: size, speed, finesse on the ball, and a mention on the AAXI.

James Riley - (1) - New England Revolution
It was a steady and quiet performance for the sophomore out of Wake Forest. There’s no one spectacular play or tackle that stands out because he was rarely out of position so he never had to make any dramatic plays. But his clearances were timely and he helped to keep Gomez and Donovan in check the entire night. Riley is ready this year.

Brian Mullan - (1) - Houston Dynamo
Good wing play is a rarity in MLS and that’s why Brian Mullan so often stands out. Against Colorado he was a terror on the left flank and sent in several dangerous, pinpoint crosses. Perhaps he faded a bit in the second half, but he still caused problems for the Rapids all night. Mullan is fast, can take guys on with the ball at his feet, plays defense, and serves in wicked crosses. What else could you want from a right-sided midfielder?

Davy Arnaud - (1) - Kansas City Wizards
He may be the perfect counterpart to Eddie Johnson; both can run at defenders, dish, or become targets. While Eddie can score a lot of goals, Arnaud always seems to score big goals. An opening day, game winning cracker of goal - chesting the ball down to himself and whacking it on the half volley to the far side - certainly falls into that category.

Clint Dempsey - (1) - New England Revolution
Between his burgeoning freestyle rap career and his forays into freestyle fisticuffs it’s hard to believe Clint Dempsey has the time for soccer these days. But there he was frustrating the Galaxy, imposing his will on the game, and scoring the winning goal with one of his trademark diving headers.

Jesse Marsch - (1) - CD Chivas USA
Jesse Marsch is the exactly the kind of professional player around which you build a team in Major League Soccer. Bob Bradley knows this. That’s why Marsch was one of the first players he procured for the Chicago Fire back in 1998. And that’s also why Bradley brought him to Chivas USA in 2006. In stark contrast to the team in 2005, Marsch herded the goats in a steady and controlled manner. The veteran played smart and solid balls, made sure everyone was in the right position and basically did what he does best: be a coach on the field.

Alecko Eskandarian - (1) - DC United
“Will Esky ever really come back from his injuries?” That’s the question DC United folks have been asking for almost a year. Of course everyone else around the league was asking the same question, albeit for entirely different reasons. When Esky came on as a substitute in the second half, scored a beautiful golazo with a volley shot off a cross into the top of the net, and helped to lead his team to a comeback draw he reminded everyone how dangerous he is and how important he is to DC United’s attack. Nobody else on that team finds space and creates chances like he does. As Eskandarian goes, so goes DC United.

Chris Rolfe - (1) - Chicago Fire
This guy is just plain fun to watch. He runs at the opposition as well as nearly any forward in the league, and his quickness on and off the ball is stellar. He brazenly takes on defenders (with uncanny success) and has an opportunistic knack for making something out of nothing. Last weekend Rolfe was the most dangerous player on the Fire. Between confidently and skillfully evading multiple defenders and setting up the opportunity Rolfe can take credit for everything except putting the ball in the back of the net on Chicago’s first goal. But Rolfe used a beautiful half volley to put it in himself on the second goal. Perhaps his youth and inexperience still show from time to time, but he remains a special player.

Kenny Cooper - (1) - FC Dallas
All you can ask from a second half substitute striker is that he make a difference. And making a difference means one and only one thing: do something, anything, that leads to a goal (preferably not an own-goal). When Cooper came into the game his team needed a goal and the former Manchester United product delivered just what they needed. It’s easy to see why Sir Alex once thought so highly of the player: he’s surprisingly skilled on the ball, has a very aggressive attitude, and buries his chances.

Brian Ching - (1) - Houston Dynamo
And now we come to this week’s most controversial pick. Who would fill the final slot in this season’s first AAXI? Would it be Brian Ching who scored four touchdowns in one game for Polk High School four goals in one game for the Houston Dynamo or Justin Mapp who failed to garner even a single vote from the AAXI contributors this week? In the end we decided to make the hard call and give the honor to Brian Ching. (Oh, fine. Truth be told we flipped a coin.) But you’ve gotta admit Brian Ching was en fuego. Colorado knew what he was going to do, but they still couldn’t stop him. Once he notched one you just knew he’d score more. Ching and Mullan showed why soccer is the beautiful game. Each had to do his part to make the whole thing work: Mullan sent in the perfect cross, Ching headed it perfectly into the goal. It was a great show. And we can only hope the fans in Houston appreciated it because we’re quite positive the fans in San Jose didn’t no longer can.

(Note: There was some confusion about the last line. It has been edited for clarity - though the edit lacks the punch of the original. Apologies to the former San Jose fans who took it the wrong way.)
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• Header by Chicago1871.
• List compiled and edited by The Belly with input from all the AAXI contributors.
• All typos and errors should be blamed on Steve Sampson.

“In case you didn’t know, one of the best soccer reads of any week during the MLS season is THE ALL AMERICAN XI, a collaborative effort among an elite group of BigSoccer posters to pick the best homegrown footballers of the week. It’s witty, informative and good fodder for chit-chat around the water cooler. Or, it would be, if any workplace in this country had more than one soccer fan in it.”

— Footballs Are Round!, July 29, 2005

Can you believe it? We didn’t even pay him to write that.

Like they say, there’s no accounting for taste.