By Justin Mapp's Posse || April 26, 2006 @ 3:21 am
[AAXI]
Ever since we moved operations to this blog we’ve been getting tons and tons of email. There are so many that we can’t answer them all. So this week we’ve selected a few to answer right here in the column. Let’s get started!
My name is Eric. I’m writing about my friend Alexi. Several years ago Alexi and me went to France to play soccer. Our coach was mean and didn’t let Alexi play. After we lost all our games Alexi told our coach he was a doodyhead. Everyone was proud of Alexi because he was brave enough to be honest and say what all of us thought. But today I think Alexi is hanging out with the wrong crowd and has gotten in the habit of lying. He’ll say one thing one day, and then do the complete opposite thing the next. Honestly, I think he’s the one acting like a doodyhead now and I have trouble believing anything he says. Anyway, I decided to spout off about it Frank Giase at the New Jersey Star Ledger. Do you think that was the right thing to do?
There may have been more grown-up ways of handling things, but as long as you got your Mom’s permission to speak to Mr. Giase then the AAXI has no particular objection.
I am Mr. Larry Tanenbaum from Canada and I am the owner of Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment. I have decided to seek a confidential cooperation with you in the execution of a deal described here for the benefit of all parties and I hope you keep it as a top secret because of the nature of this transaction. We have in our possession $10 million franchise fee which we want to transfer New York City with the assistance and cooperation of a foreign individual. I have the authority of my partners involved to propose that, should you be willing to assist us in the transaction, you will be compensated with a six-pack of Moosehead Lager. Please remember to treat this matter confidentially. I wait in anticipation for your full cooperation.
For the last time, we’re not going to fall for this crazy “Canadian Franchise Fee” scheme!
I need some professional advice. See, I’ve got a problem with my new boss. Problem is some years ago I was his boss, and – well – let’s just say we had a bit of a falling out back then. He called me a “doodyhead.” In fact, he was quite vocal about it. As fate would have it I now find myself working for him. I’ll be honest. I’ve been doing a pretty bad job at managing things here, and given the history between me and my new boss I fully expect to be fired. I figured with your vast expertise you might be able to give me some professional advice. What should I do?
- Steve from Los Angeles
Have you sent any resumes to Utah? We suspect there’ll be some job openings there soon.
Are you feeling limp? Is your performance not what it used to be? Finally, there’s help. Enhancement patches are hot right now, VERY HOT! Unfortunately, most are cheap imitations that do very little to increase your prowess or stamina. Well, this is the real thing, not an imitation! A top team of scientists and medical doctors have worked to develop this state of art performance enhancement patch delivery system. Just apply the patch to your body, wear it for three days and you’ll start noticing dramatic results. Don’t be left out. Soon you too can be scoring again!
Thank you for the interesting offer. None of us at the AAXI are having any difficulties in this area but we have taken the liberty of forwarding your email to the New England Revolution.
You people are a little obsessive. It’s like you have to mention me in every single column. Honestly, I find it frightening.
- Justin from Chicago
We have no idea what you’re talking about.
That’s all the letters for this week, but if you want to write to us just send an email to aaeleven@gmail.com. Who knows, maybe your letter will be featured in a future AAXI column!
…
This week a 3-5-2 old school:
Troy Perkins - (2)
Perkins had a great game, made some very good saves, and positioned himself well. Strong in the air, willing to put his body on the line, and let everyone know the box is his (as evidenced by Mike Magee’s dislocated pinky finger which was just a wee bit gnarly).
The truth of the matter is, RBNY wasn’t as utterly toothless as everyone says. They put in some dangerous stuff, particularly in the first half. And every single time they did Perkins came up handily. Did he get the clean sheet? No, but he should have. It’s a shame he wasn’t able to keep the shutout streak alive through three games. He was very close but once Brian Namoff got subbed in, we had a bad feeling.
Eddie Pope - (2)
Right now His Holiness is playing at his can-stop-any-forward-in-the-league level. Poor Eddie Pope. In the past he played with guys like Carlos Llamosa, Jeff Agoos, and Tony Sanneh. Against Houston, he was trying to hold off Brian Ching and DeRosario while also covering for the midfield all night. Pope did everything he could to keep the defense together - but even Pope couldn’t do everything.
You would think with five so-called midfielders in front of him he wouldn’t have had to come up with some of the plays he did that night. Apparently not. RSL is still a painfully inept team but at least they have Pope for a game or two more.
Nick of Arc - (1)
Garcia was shutting down Dallas and … wait … was that a shot? God must have wanted us to see that for some reason. Speaking of that shot sighting, do people realize the historical significance of Nick Garcia going forward and shooting? And staying forward?????? This guy owns the all-time non-goal scoring record in MLS!!!! For him to even shoot was HUGE!!!! A sure sign that he’s ready to lead MLS to the promised land of unpredictability and sure shot taking.
Okay, beyond that he was a rock on defense. Rob Stone and Marcelo Balboa were correct in singling Garcia out for praise. Kenny Cooper didn’t get too many good looks in the run of play and neither did Carlos Ruiz. Nick and Jimmy Conrad in tandem were a big reason why, but in addition Garcia also got out of a few hectic moments rather smoothly when he got islanded. Those are always scary moments no matter who the opposition is but he handled them well. Just ask Chris Gbandi how tough that can be
Brandon Prideaux - (1)
Sometimes it’s hard to notice how well a defender is playing until he’s not there. Today, Prideaux was subbed out and within a couple of minutes his replacement gets turned by Youri for a goal. Prideaux simply could not be beaten, playing the best of the DCU defenders, often backing them up when they let someone by them. After a rough week #1, he’s putting together a portfolio to justify regular starting time even when Peter Nowak doesn’t use a four man back line.
Brian Carroll - (1)
Youri who? Amado who? You get the picture. This guy was unbelievable. Sometimes we prefer watching games on TV to being there live, while other times we wish we could see the entirety of an individual’s game just to get a better sense of what he did. That’s how we view Carroll’s match. He popped up at the right time, in the right place so often that his off the ball work must have been amazing.
There’s a reason why opposing teams can’t drive down the middle of DCU’s defense and Carroll is the prime reason. But what was unexpected this week was his offense. First he sent that pinpoint pass to Olsen (see below), and then he stole a pass, rolled over Marvell Wynne and dropped a sweet dime on Jamil Walker. The rest of the day his passing was the best on the field.
Jacob Thomas - (2)
Big, fast, physical, dominates his side. Possesses and uses his strength and understanding of a more physical style of play, honed in the lower divisions of the German Bundesliga, to help throw the Galaxy off and create problems.
Those LAG outside backs are supposed to be on the fringe of the USNT for this World Cup. Guess it’s a good thing Thomas doesn’t play for Ghana, Italy, or the Czech Republic - he ate the Galaxy defenders alive! Unlike other, anonymous MLS outside mids, he also exhibited a variety of moves when it came time to get the cross in or head for the box himself.
Unfortunately for him and the Crew, it looks like he’s injured his ankle pretty badly when backtracking against Donovan and he could be out for a lengthy period of time.
Aaron Pitchkolan - (1)
What can we say? We’re a sucker for stoppage time tie-breaking goals. (That and bicycle kicks, but that’s probably because we’ve never been able to master them.) This is the kind of stuff that makes soccer exciting. The man came in late in the game and did the job. He set the ball up nicely and finished it well.
What a typical American goal. We all remember back in rec league in high school when we had a friend that used to score goals like that all the time. He wasn’t the fastest, and he didn’t have the skills, but he always hustled and always saw the play through. Pitchkolan’s typical American style got Dallas three.
Brad Davis - (1)
Just when it seemed no one could challenge the porn star moustaches sported by Scott Garlick and Kenny Cutler, along comes Davis with his offering in the same game! NASL games in SoCal in the 1970’s had fewer bad moustaches than this game!
Davis played a complete 90 minute game. He caused problems for RSL with his dribbling and passing, but was also committed on defense as well. He and Wade Barrett made sure that Chris Klein had a relatively quiet game, especially in the first half. Then, Davis assisted on the game tying goal with a great corner kick. Solid all around.
Benny Olsen - (1)
Another strong performance here. He tandems so well with Carroll and like Carroll today he added offense to his contributions. Above we have Nick Garcia who tandems so well with another defender who could have gotten a nod this week in Jimmy Conrad. With Olsen, it’s the same thing with Carroll. As a tandem they shut out the middle of the field from opposing teams, like Red Bull this week. And like Carroll this week, Benny got into the attack frequently culminating with a nice assist to Alecko.
Kenny Cooper - (3)
His goal was the result of never giving up on the ball. Ronnie O’Brien sends in a cross to the back post and Cooper gets taken down but during the course of the ball pinballing around in front of the goal, Cooper gets back up and heads in the rebound.
For the rest of the mostly painful-to-watch game, he was the only Dallas player that seemed willing to go after the defense and take people on 1v1. Was very close on a well taken shot at the top of the penalty box, doing a couple of step-overs before breaking out for a foot or two of space and putting the ball just over the cross bar.
Alecko - (2)
We’ll pretend he’s Brazilian for a second and just use one name for him. He’s on this list for three reasons: Sweet finishes, works hard in the midfield, creative goal celebration, annoyed Eric Wynalda. That’s like the MLS Cycle right there.
His second goal developed from brilliant tight-spaced, crisp, one-touch passing between Carroll, Olsen, and Alecko that led to him breaking out ahead into a 1v1 situation with Tony Meola and then doing what forwards are supposed to do: finish.
Alecko owns his hometown team and we’re not just talking goal scoring here. Did everyone see that celebration after his first goal? Gonna be hard to beat that celebration this year or any year. You just know that Clint Dempsey is wishing he thought of that one first.
…
- Header by The Belly.
- List compiled and edited by ursula with input from all the AAXI contributors.
- All typos and errors should be blamed on Mark De Grandpre.