MLS on YouTube, Part Two: The Eastern Conference

Last week we introduced those few of you who have never heard of it to YouTube, that wonderful website where fans of all sorts of pastimes can go to see video clips of their favorite performers, whoever or whatever they may be. Fans of the AAXI are, by extension, fans of Major League Soccer, and YouTube is the best place this side of MLSNet to watch a variety of MLS and MLS-related highlights. For the AAXI Week 22, we considered the Western Conference; now it’s the Eastern Conference’s turn. The criteria remains the same: videos must be found via entering only the team name, rather than a particular player, and a particular video must focus on some aspect of the team or a player to be included in the review (meaning, All Star Game highlights that pop up in a search for DC United don’t count towards the DC total listed herein).

This week we take a look at the six Eastern Conference teams and try to identify the “best” clip available on YouTube.

Chicago Fire Much like last week’s entry on the Colorado Rapids, it comes as no surprise that a search for “Chicago Fire” on YouTube brings all sorts of videos. Many of them are videos of the Chicago Fire Department fighting fires all over the city, but there’s still an impressive 60 clips of the team itself. Well, maybe it’s less impressive when you consider that 10 of the first 12 videos have something to do with the recent visit of Chivas USA to Toyota Park. And it is certainly odd to find a lengthy slide show (?!) in place where video is the expected media. But there’s a great video there that should equally please fans of the Fire specifically and league generally: Damani Ralph, 2003 Rookie of the Year. Fire fans get to see a few of the many great moments Ralph generated that season; people who miss the heady days of removing shirts to celebrate goals get to see Ralph’s chest over and over; the rest of us get to see the immortal Paul Grafer and his pants try to stop Ralph.

Columbus Crew Sometimes fans owe allegiance to odd combinations of team, so it isn’t inconceivable that you would find a combination video featuring both DC United and Columbus Crew highlights. But why only for the 1999 season? YouTube poster sum1uno2 is the culprit, but there’s just no way the AAXI staff will criticize this guy: check out the whole list of videos he posted and you’ll find highlight packages from many MLS games, clips from a couple of NASL Soccer Bowls, and even a video featuring “Great US Soccer Hair” (!). Considering everything, sum1uno2 is welcome to post odd combinations of MLS team highlights if he wants. Also found in the modest list of Crew clips (11 total) is the grainiest shot of the Crewzers performing at halftime that one could imagine, and what must be the “best” clip on there for Crew fans: Greg Andrulis walking off the field for the last time as Crew manager, with the jeers raining down on him. Too bad there’s no clip of the famous “pink slip” moment from 2005 when the embattled coach was showered with pink confetti.

DC United Not surprisingly, DC United is the champ amongst all MLS teams with a whopping 98 videos posted to YouTube. Some are odd - “DC United Offsides Goal,” anyone? - and certainly the Barra Brava almost deserves a section of its own. In fact, there’s so many videos of the Barra Brava doing its thing that you start to wonder if some of its members are more enamored of the supporter group, or DC United itself - regardless of how interesting some of the clips are. In a nice touch, you can also see something unique for MLS teams: a compilation of the “Best Saves of 2004” featuring both Troy Perkins and Nick Rimando. It’s a classy touch, and the “best” clip among many fine DC United offerings.

Kansas City Wizards Last week the AAXI staff gave Colorado Rapids fans a bit of a bad time because the team only has 11 videos on YouTube. Well, a search for the Kansas City Wizards reveals no clips whatsoever. No clips! AAXI staffers had to violate the search criteria for the activity and include the team’s prior name in the search - Kansas City Wiz. Again, no clips! But one of the multitude of DC United clips featured Nick Garcia’s first MLS goal, so figuring out how to link to it using only the team name is theoretically possible. “KC Wizards” does the trick, and reveals . . . an underwhelming two videos. Both feature Garcia’s goal. And for such a small sample, the “best” clip is surprisingly good. KC Metrosports did a nice piece on the goal. The clip begins with Jimmy Conrad describing how he tried to catch up with Garcia to celebrate with him, but couldn’t, for Garcia “was like a man possessed.” Well, any of us might be if we played 181 games without scoring a goal, as Garcia had up to that point. The video concludes with an interview featuring Conrad upon his return to MLS from World Cup duty. Good stuff, but come on, KC fans - no clips? Even the defunct Tampa Bay Mutiny have a highlight clip on YouTube!

New England Revolution The selection of Revolution videos isn’t as extensive as one might imagine, given the team’s recent history of playing in big games and popular players who might draw dedicated YouTubers posting clips of their every move (no, not Steve Ralston groupies: we mean Clint “Deuce” Dempsey). You do find the longest clip of any MLS team featured in our overview (more than ten minutes from a single 2005 game between the Revolution and the MetroStars) among the 26 Revolution clips. And there’s one truly odd video entitled “Aftermath of Taylor Twellman Goal” that shows almost nothing aside from the male pattern baldness of the guy standing in front of whoever wielded the camera. But the “best” clip is the appropriately titled “Me @ Gillette Stadium” - three students from the English High School ask, “do you want to learn about the Revolution? Then come follow us.” They teach you everything there is to know about the team in a clip that lasts precisely one minute and thirty-one seconds. Apparently ex-broadcast team Adrian Healy and Brad Feldman - who feature prominently - are what the Revs are all about.

New York Red Bulls In one sense it isn’t quite fair to compare the number and quality of videos for a newly rebranded team like the Red Bulls with one of MLS’s original franchises. But we held the Dynamo to the same standard last week, and they managed some pretty interesting stuff in their 29 clips. Searching for New York Red Bulls generates more clips than Houston - 42 in all. You can learn a good deal even before you watch the clips, since YouTubers get to describe whatever they upload. For example, did you know that the early summer exhibition victory for the Red Bulls over Bayern Munich was fixed to help NYRB become more popular(how’d that work out, by the way?)? Neither did we, but there in the description of peruvianproduct’s “Pizzaro vs. Red Bull” clip we learn the shocking truth. Another way to learn great stuff is to read the comments other YouTubers posted after watching the video. YoungGunz92’s video of a minor altercation between NYRB and DC fans is no great shakes, but the comments that follow are quite bizarre and somewhat engaging reading. Regardless, the “best” clip for the new squad is “Amado Guevara talks about Red Bull NY” on Univision. The question is, are even YouTube video clips related to soccer more exciting because they’re in Spanish and on Univision? If this same clip were recorded in English by an ESPN announcer, would the AAXI staff judge it the “worst” NYRB YouTube clip?
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Ah, the offense - where has it been these past few AAXI teams? Nowhere except at the feet of Jeff Cunningham. But with Cunningham off this week’s list, we find ourselves fielding a line-up that would make fans happy, and coaches cringe: the 4-2-4.

Joe Cannon – (3)

The man almost single handedly kept Colorado in the game against the Fire. The Fire threatened over and over throughout the game and consistently it was Cannon coming off his line or making the big save that kept the Rapids alive. His vision of the field is second to none, and as far as reflexes go, he’s almost inhuman. Chicago eventually eked out the win on an quick shot off a corner by Dasan Robinson (see below), but Cannon really looked good.

Tony Sanneh – (1)

Remember when Sanneh was affectionately known as the Big Cat? The oft-injured defender with the big contract has been known to Fire fans as “Big Cash” these past two ineffective seasons. But since returning from his latest injury, he’s come as close as we’ve seen him to his old form. Against the Rapids Sanneh was dominant in the air, kept Thiago Matins in check for nearly every second of the game, and distributed well from the back. Big Cash is finally earning his paycheck.

Dasan Robinson – (5)

We’re almost sorry to bring Robinson up again, but the kid just keeps playing good games. This time around what really stood out was his composure on and off the ball. When he’s defending he doesn’t commit or dive in unnecessarily, and he is physically tough in the air and on the ground. Offensively, he holds the ball well, is a good passer, and as we found out against Colorado, can put the ball in the back of the net. Bornstein and Kjlestan are always at the top of the ROTY list for pretty much everyone, but Robinson is deservedly right on their heels.

Jeff Larentowicz – (1)

Jeff Who? Larentowicz. He isn’t a rookie - a lone minute against DC United in 2005 took care of that status - but has to be considered among the impressive crop of new players in the league. With twelve starts and eighteen appearances he’s no stranger to the Revolution lineup, but his solid defense and game winning goal against the Crew still probably surprised some people.

Rusty Pierce – (2)

Rusty returned to one of his old stomping grounds (New England) and looked good in the losing effort for the Crew. He got forward on one dangerous break and spent the rest of the game making life difficult for the Revolution attackers. Too bad he and Richie Kotschau seem to be alternating injuries - the two of them plus SI’s Marcos Gonzales and Jose Retiz could make up a solid defense.

Jonathan Bornstein – (5)

The first member of our two-man midfield has more recently made the AAXI as a forward. This weekend he lined up further from goal, but the result was the same: another tally (complemented by an assist) for the ROTY frontrunner. Is he going to be the latest left-sided player to keep Jose Burciaga Jr. off the US National team?

Sacha Kjlestan – (3)

One thing the AAXI staff agreed upon this week was the two members of the midfield, both from Chivas USA. Nothing particular stood out from what was a terrific overall effort, although his assist on Ante Razov’s well-taken second goal was pretty good. His 7 assists lead Chivas and put him sixth in MLS - welcome to the league, Sacha!

Edson Buddle – (3)

Edson couldn’t have looked more casual on his way to a hat trick, as if it had all been arranged between Bruce and Edson before the game that he’d rest for a half while RSL got tired, defending down a man, and then go in and utterly dominate. His third goal was a brilliant mix of hustle and composure in the box, beating Jay Nolly to a bouncing ball, turning, and calmly placing the ball where only a defender’s hand could possibly have stopped it. He wasn’t phased that his first goal briefly seemed to have been incorrectly called a goal-line clearance, nor was he phased that he popped in a surpassingly brilliant header. We’re sorry that we bet a buddy a drink for every Red Bulls goal. We’re also still hung over. But Jay Nolly probably has post-traumatic stress disorder from the whole experience, so we’re not so bad off after al.

John Wolyniec – (1)

Woly just looks right in Giants Stadium. Sure, he’s wearing yet another new uniform, but Wolyniec, his cheering section, and Bruce Arena could be a great combination, even if Buddle pushes him to the pine at some point. Wolyniec set the tone for the game with a great run onto a perfectly-weighted through ball from Youri Djorkaeff, suckering Jack Stewart into an 8th minute red card (yeah, 82 minutes on the road in August down a man should work . . .). The RSL winning streak was doomed from that point on. Plus, Woly earned a secondary assist on goal #1, made an unselfish pass for an assist on goal #5, and for some reason, was still hustling in the 80-somethingth minute to pick up a garbage goal for #6. If you’re scoring at home, that’s a drawn red card, a goal, and two assists, for a guy two teams couldn’t wait to get rid of within the last couple months. Yet another brilliant personnel move by the Red Bulls Finally the Red Bulls made a “positive karma” move, and were rewarded.

Landon Donovan – (4)

You might have heard that the Galaxy systematically dismantled DC United over the weekend. Want to know why? Look no farther than the enigmatic Mr. Donovan. This week was the dominant version of Landon, whose impact reverberated far beyond the pair of goals he scored. He was dangerous at every turn, and tracked far back on defense when the occasion demanded it. How far can Donovan take the re-energized Galaxy? If last year’s run is any indication, we may be watching Landon and LA play well into the Fall.

Ante Razov – (6)

Razov just killed the Dynamo. Did you know he’s really good with his left foot? That peg carried him to a pair of goals and into a tie in the race for the Golden Boot. It was definitely another MVP quality outing against Houston, as Razov and Chivas are suddenly hanging around the upper half of the Western Conference standings. One observation from the AAXI staff: Eric Wynalda’s man-crush on Ante is getting old.
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• Header by ismitje. He’s the Justin Mapp of MLS contributors.
• List compiled and edited by ismitje with input from all of the AAXI contributors who didn’t flake.
• All typos and errors should be blamed on Doug Logan.